Fruit Diary
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Raisins (snap-dragon style)
I was scared to throw my hand into the flames - it took 3 rounds before I finally grabbed one. But toasty and burnt, it was far better than any ordinary raisin ever had been.
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Cranberries
Better than raisins, but still, dried fruit isn't for me.
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Banana
I only like my bananas at a VERY specific stage of ripeness, when brown spots start appearing. Anything earlier or later is absolutely revolting to me, along with anything banana flavored. However, when in this precise sweet spot, bananas suddenly are one of my favorite fruits, by far.
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Apple
Like many, I prefer honeycrisp apples. I went apple picking a few years ago and tired ~15 different kinds in a day, finally developing very specific preferences. Before I just grabbed apples at random when out grocery shopping.
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Pineapple
I eat this carton of pineapple chunks once a month probably. It's a good snack. A warning: never leave out pineapple chunks or juice or everything will smell SO BAD.
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Apricot
I liked it a lot! It was sour in a way that I love. Alas, each fruit was TINY; a giant apricot sounds incredible.
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Blackberries
They taste fine, got a weird texture to them! Kinda strange mouthfeel.
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Butterscotch Pear
urgghhhh I HATE this. Bad texture, bad flavor, skin is like rough like a peach but flavorless, and then the inside is like an apple but too watery.
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Pomelo
It's like an orange but less intense in terms of flavor, also very difficult to eat and get at. Apparently, like grapefruit, pomelos can fuck up your medication, so be careful!
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Sumo Citrus
WOAH, this is just a tastier and meltier orange, like literally just an orange, but better. Hot damn!!!
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Kiwi
It's okay! Kinda sweet, tropical tasting, a bit tart? The box said Cut. Scoop. Woah! so that's what I did.
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Danjou Ripe Pear
This just tastes like a normal pear.
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Kent Mango
Weirdly, my impression of this one was first 'what if cantelope was good'. More firm than a standard mango, though that's likely just cause my fridge is unusually cold.
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Kiwano Melon
ARGHHH it tastes like CUCUMBER but feels like JELLO filled with SEEDS.... I hate ALL OF THOSE aspects.... like any one of them makes me dislike a fruit but all of them????? VERY BAD
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Pepino Melon
Bleh this just tasted like cantelope. It might've just been in the wrong stage of ripeness, though.
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Lemon
Yeah I just ate an entire lemon and loved it. Thank god for these sour freaks.
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Persimmon
At the local ramen place where you have to announce your dreams, I announced that my dream was to eat 100 fruits. Immediately, our server ran out to the back and came back to a persimmon. The experience gets a perfect rating but the fruit itself was a bit bland (though that may have been cause the ramen flavor from earlier was overpowering).
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Honey Mango
Really, really good! Sour like a lemon, but not so intense that it hurts.
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Clementine
Inferior oranges... clementines sometimes have a weird, almost medical aftertaste, like an orange with a hint of windex flavor.
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Watermelon
I've always been kinda :| about watermelon. Very slight flavor, not my favorite, but weirdly hollow feeling. I'll eat em, and I won't dislike them, but it's like... a slightly worse experience than drinking water.
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Strawberries
Actually just really good. I never ate strawberries growing up, but liked strawberry flavor. I should eat these more.
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Date
This tasted bizarre, kinda like candy, but really mediocre candy. It was fasinating though, I ate two despite not really like it very much.
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Pomegranate
Eating a bunch of tiny seeds was a weird experience, but honestly a TOP TIER flavor. I had no idea pomegranates were so weird, but actually I liked it a lot.
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Honeydew
Almost flavorless, slightly disliked the flavor, but honestly not as bad as I remembered it being from the last time I ate it.
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Cantelope
Slightly more flavorful honeydew, almost enjoyable, but still slightly unpleasant. Just very bland, mostly.
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Papaya
This tastes exactly like the foam they put on your mouth when they make dental molds. Absolutely revolting.
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Figs
I don't like them. Gross, gooey, and a bad flavor.
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Ume Plums
I ate these from extracting them from umeshu wine, so like, on their own they were pretttyyyyy gross... but I reckon I might like them normally, lol
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Rambutan
Weirdly bland, but not actually bad? A total hassle to eat, though.
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Star Fruit
I had it underripe, so it wasn't a good representative sample. Tasted like nothing, basically.
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Plum
Plums are great! As a kid it was one of the four default fruits - apples, pears, peaches and plums.
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Quince
Jake was later saddened by my vitriolic hatred of the humble quince. It tasted like biting into styrofoam.
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Bitter Melon
Guess what! It's bitter! Googling it later it turns out you're supposed to cook this, typically, lol. I ate it raw.
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Coconut
My mom had a coconut flavored foot cream and I can only think of that when I eat coconut. It kinda felt like the mold they make retainers out of.
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Pawpaw
One of my friends travelled 3 hours out of the way to buy these off a guy. I thought they were kinda meh, a bit weird to eat, but a few of my friends went wild for them.
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Spanish Lime
Usually I love sour fruits, but I had just eaten this after 30 others and it was weird and difficult to not eat the pit, it just hit bad.
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Jackfruit Chips
Maybe shouldn't count, but hey someone brought them to my fruit party. They were fine. Standard fruit chip vibes.
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Lychee
Tasted okay, but I hated the textural experience of eating it, it felt like getting the meat out of crab. The huge seed in the middle is a total hassle.
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Guava
I ate 38 different fruits at my fruitwarming party. I have no memory of a lot of them. This is one of them. I had the worst tummy ache of my life afterwards. I felt hungover the next day.
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Cherimoya
I'm pretty sure this is the one that felt like eating mashed potatoes. Probably.
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Korean Pear
Like combining all the worst parts of an apple and a pear.
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Sudachi
A somewhat worse version of a lemon or a lime.
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Raspberry
Sweet and juicy! Scrumchy... yknow, I've spent years eating rasberry flavored things, but had only eaten actual rasberries once or twice before.
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Tangerine
The citrus zone is a real comfortable place I like to hang out in. I like standard oranges a tiny bit better, but it's about the same.
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Cacao
Guys I'm sorry I don't remember what this one tasted like. It was a weird one and it was decent.
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Blueberries
They're okay. My roommate always used to keep blueberries too long and they'd get moldy. So I have a bit of an aversion. But they're like, decent when normal lol.
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Dragonfruit
A pleasant sludge hides within that spiky carapace... mild but pleasant.
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Small Apple
God, I dunno what exactly this is, it's a tiny apple. A bit sour in a way I liked. Basically as good as a normal apple.
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Buddha's Hand
A friend candied Buddha's hand... very elaborate. Tasted mostly like sugar, due to, yknow, being candied. It was good though!
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Tamarind
A bit of an adventure to eat, but I liked it alright!
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Tangelo
Yet another citrus... truthfully I didn't super differentiate this from oranges vs. tangerines. It's all decent.
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Grapes
Easy to acquire and eat. Grab 'em by the handful and slurp them down. A real pellet type fruit.
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Golden Kiwi
I always feel weird eating fruit with a spoon. It tastes good, but for me, the joy of a fruit is often just being able to tear it apart with my hands and bite immediately.
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Blood Orange
Between this and Sumo Citrus, the juicier the citrus, the better, in my opinion. And this one makes me feel like an animalistic predator dripping with blood, which is fun!
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Orange
My friend Alex looked over this list before the fruit party and was like... wait. He hasn't eaten an orange yet? Not this year, I hadn't. I am a shower orange advocate by the way, if that wasn't obvious.
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Mangosteen
Another one I have no memory of, but I gave it a high ranking the day of the fruit party.
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Meyer Lemon
About the same as a normal lemon, but slightly less sour (so slightly less fun).
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Passionfruit
Slightly better pomegranate... in coriolis, the existence of this fruit was a clue that Earth was only created 22 years ago.
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Golden Berries
Perhaps my new favorite berry. Reminded me of pineapple a bit... more sourish than a grape.
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Cotton Candy Grapes
I liked these slightly more than ordinary grapes!
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Ground Cherries
Fairly similar to goldenberries. It's a good berry.
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Mango
Dude after a while I just run out of things to say. Mangos are good. I've only eaten them a handful of times in my life for some reason. I should eat them more.
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Lime
I'll never forget the beautiful lime. I can't really differentiate lemons and limes much. I just like the intensity of how sour they both are.
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Longam
Another one of those fruits like lychee that taste like dental mold. Not a fan.
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Plantain
I actually cooked these with a friend, so for once I got to enjoy a fruit that's only good cooked actually cooked, rather than just going for it raw.