It's irrational, how much I overthink everything I put out online. That each post has to meaningful, to be novel, to be polished, to contribute something -- despite the fact that everyone has a microblog about nothing these days, that barely anyone sans my friends will read this anyway, that I love weird blog entries that give you a snapshot into someone's life

But nevertheless I had to build this post over the skeletons of many deleted paragraphs.

One of my friends once told me that your sense of taste develops far faster than your sense of skill when you begin a new hobby. Which is obvious, but it makes the hurdle of learning something new that much harder, as you're actively learning all the ways in which you aren't good, faster than you're actually learning to be good. Balancing the desire to do something with the desire to be good at it -- that's a tricky walk.

I'm going to try and make some blog posts both for fun and to practice writing.

Addendum:

• While trying to find the link to this diatribe against blogs I found this obviously automatically generated blog post. It's a good read.

• Topics of deleted paragraphs: finding out friends were gay from finding their blogs, responding to the above diatribe, a friend that often goes on monologues in my discord server, this video by Jacob Geller, finding an original thing to say in a blog post, the joy of writing essays for high school, the origin of the word "blog", this journal I only update when I find it while cleaning my room. (Timelapse)