Hi everyone! Over 2 years later, I'm finally making a blog post where I just ramble about my life in a vaguely disorganized fashion.
I often fall into the trap of trying to make things just like the art I find compelling, when I should instead be focused on making art that I really enjoy the process of making. I have to love the process rather than just slamming my head against the wall trying to end up with the perfect result, y'know? With webbuilding, I'm often drawn to more aloof and mysterious webmasters, weird esoteric nonsense, that kinda stuff. And I do enjoy making things like that occasionally (e.g. the whole sequestered cavern beneath). But as a person, I've always been an open book. And I've been thinking -- on this website I talk a lot about my interests, but I don't really talk about myself much, do I?
So let's change that! What's been going on with me lately? I've had a really wild year. Finally quit my old job I hated for a new job I really liked... then a few months later the company ran out of money and we all got furloughed. So now I'm (basically) unemployed. Financially, I'll be fine, though I'm feeling a bit bleh about it emotionally. My life feels a bit ridiculous right now, floating adrift... one other bizarre shenanigan is that I was accidentally given the shingles vaccine a few days ago and it made me feel super sick. ◉ isn't it really wild that they can mess this up? i have to go back and get the proper vaccine next week :/ X I just finished Higurashi and in my shingles-induced delirum, I had really vivid fever dreams about it. ◉ a little voice in my head kept shouting MION MION MION like an alarm and (spoilers) i kept thinking 'i must have hinamizawa syndrome'. when i first got the covid vaccine, i had fever dreams about reading the total drama wikia, and unearthed details about alejandro's twin brother from the deep recesses of my mind. X
Unlike a lot of neocities users, I'm a total extrovert. I've been aggressively trying to make new friends and go on dates a ton recently, so I've been having all sorts of new experiences. I've gotten really good at going out and doing stuff nearly every day after work. Board game nights, hanging with friends, dates, random events, rock climbing, voice chats, etc. I had two instances where I self-isolated for a bit cause of COVID exposures in the past couple of months, and each time I was miserable; I've somewhat lost the ability to be comfortable by myself - that's something I need to work on. Lots of FOMO. One of my aims recently has been to make more IRL furry friends - I've accepted that I suck at making friends online, but I am charismatic and sociable enough in person to hit it off with folks in person. ◉ it's kinda wild that it's significantly easier for me to approach a stranger and strike up a conversation than it is for me to DM someone or talk in a group chat. i think it's that I have time to overthink things digitally, but in person, you just gotta go with the flow. honestly, i can probably thank larping for ingraining in me the habit of walking up to folks and immediately jumping into a conversation. X I went to ANE not knowing anyone as my first furry con, had a super fun time and since then have been regularly going to local furry meets. It's been nice!
Notable things that have happened since this time last year:
- I broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years. That was a big catalyst for my life to change a lot, obviously.
- 4 cons: ANE, PAX, & two larp conventions. Later on I'll be going to some sonic convention (mostly going as an excuse to visit my friend in Texas that lives 15 min away from it). Might go to furpoc on a whim, haven't decided yet.
- 15 larps. I usually average 13 per year, but cons easily help boost that number. I've gotten so used to just playing games my friends write, but being exposed to extremely different larp styles from other communities is fascinating.
- My roommate threw a lobster party, he bought 12 lobsters. When we killed the lobsters, we all joined hands (with the people on the ends holding the lobster's claws) and then decapitated them (more humane than boiling alive). I had the cleanest lobster decapitation but also am too squeamish to eat seafood, alas.
- I got second place in a Mario Kart tournament at a gay bar at some gamer event while pretty tipsy. Wasn't planning on it, in retrospect I should've focused more on flirting with people, but my instincts as a gamer took over.
- I had a fling for a month or so that I COMPLETELY messed up. Super intensely led on a guy I really liked, it turns out I wasn't ready for a relationship yet after my last breakup and freaked out & dumped him in a shitty way. Heartbreak speedrun!!! :/
- Started a collection where I am trying to get 1 card from as many different TCGs as possible. I'm up to 66, so I'm on track to get 100 by the end of the year. ◉ my favorite one is a just dance card that looks like it was run over that my friend found on the side of a road. X
- Went to see Sleep No More! One of my friends is utterly OBSESSED with it, she's seen it like 7 times, saw it with her. I really wasn't prepared for how immersive and excellent it was, truly unlike anything I've experienced. I was SO CLOSE to getting a guy to feed me poisoned gumdrops in a hidden room, but narrowly missed it, my one regret.
- My grandma moved in with my parents after having a bad fall. She's over 90 and pretty senile - the most egregious thing that's happened since is that she threw away my dad's diabetes medication cause she didn't know what it was.
- Reconnected with some college friends I hadn't spoken to in a while, we've been playing games like Lethal Company and chatting pretty regularly now, which is very nice. I just visited a few of them in person too!
- Saw The People's Joker, one of the best movies I've seen in years. The joke per minute ratio was insane, when I saw Mr Boop referenced I literally shouted MR BOOP, I was so excited lol. The energy of watching the trans joker movie w/ a crowd that was (most likely) 100% queer was unparalleled.
Despite job stress, heartbreak and lots of anxiety, this has been one of the best years of my life. I'm out living my life, having bold adventures, getting up to gay mischief, being spontaneous. I'm not yet where I want to be as a person, but the amount of progress I've made from where I was this time last year is staggering. Alright, that should be a suitable amount of insight into my life. Carry on!
