Most of my friends aren't furries, but basically all of them know I'm a furry, and folks are curious and so I try to explain myself – the hook – why this community is so important and meaningful to me – but I can never sum it up adequately in the moment. For once, let's take it slow and see if I can get my thoughts to coalesce into something substantive, alright?

I've been a furry since I was 15, but was not involved in the community until a few years ago. For many, many years I tried in vain to make furry friends online. ◉ throwback to my mastodon... i had one good post: "life chess is seeing how many times you can slip the phrase 'musky husky' into casual conversation" X But I was always just too shy! Reaching out to people online, when you have infinite time to overthink everything you say, was impossible for me. I will never make posts on the panopticon of social media. I only manage to update my website cause I am in denial that anyone is reading it except me.

Something in my nature makes me more gregarious in person. In early 2024 I impulsively went to ANE, knowing no one – and had a fantastic time, met a ton of people, and impressed myself in how sociable I was. ◉ I found this VN, 3 Days to Live, an incredibly compelling and relatable story about the experience of going to a furry con for the first time. X And then I was hooked.

How do I become friends with strangers? How do I use telegram? All these people around me are chatting, how do I join in? Hey, I think I hit it off with someone, woah, he's inviting me to a kink event? Am I someone that gets drunk at the club and grinds on strangers? Okay, let's hook up after board games – actually, let's just cuddle. Am I cool enough to talk to these people? Wait, was that supposed to be a date? I should probably buy a pup hood. I want more friends so yes I can run a campaign for you. Fuck I got crabs, guess I'll just dance – yeah I'll join your dance class – yeah let's be roommates. Sure, I can run the webdev meetup. I'll come visit you in Pittsburgh. Let's go to the horny room party – check out my trading cards while I try on this cock cage. Holy shit, mosh pits are so fun. Wait, they're cancelled for what? I've never experienced a friendship like this – what are we? Am I poly? Let's do a gamejam. Is your boyfriend actually cool with us hooking up?? – I'm too high to tell. Let's go roller skating. Fuck, I was so awkward at that party. I can pitch in on the dunkin donuts costume. Why isn't he texting me back? Hell yes I'll spend the night with an older couple. Take my business card – there's a loyalty rewards program on the back – I hope you think this is cute.

In my first year of being a furry, my life completely transformed. I left a depressive haze and suddenly was on a nonstop emotional rollercoaster of extremely heightened experiences. Life was bright and overwhelming. I was alive, as myself, properly, for maybe the first time in my life. I had no idea what I was doing; the rules by which I lived my life no longer applied. Anything was possible.

For many furries, the community is online. And for me it's not, like, at all. It's a group of local queer people I know that organize local events and cons. I love you, anonymous reader of my website, but I doubt we'll become friends unless we meet in person. ◉ You should still send me emails and sign my guestbook... and hunt me down at cons :3 X The furry community showed me a different model for living my life. I've done my best to embody it. I'm messy – ridiculous – authentic. I love myself more than I ever have.

I had intense shame about being a furry when I was younger - it was a huge secret! It felt as significant as being gay; I often joke that being a furry is being gay for gay people. However, once I ventured into in-person communities and started meeting people, it was normalized in my mind. We're all just people – albeit really weird people.

Adopting the label of “furry” is a big undertaking. It's taking this crazy stigmatized label, the quintessential punching bag of society, and going, yes, that's me. I want to cuddle with my friends and bark at people, and I'm proud that I want to, because I'm choosing to live unabashedly as myself.

I love the ethos of the community. How friendly it is to people with different social skills, how deeply queer and strange and all over the place it is. Unified by a sense of passion and creativity and willingness to go against social norms. Meeting furries is always exciting, because everyone's a total weirdo. Everyone's interesting.

Your understanding of me is incomplete if you don't know I'm a furry. It's a core identity. Even before I was involved in the community, it was. And it's interesting, because unlike many furries, my fursona doesn't reflect a different side of me. There's no escapism here, there's no putting on a character or acting differently – it's all just me, living my life. I am a dog, I am a person, I am a furry. It all gets to be true.